Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Randomize
