We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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