We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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