we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
