Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Randomize
