What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
