i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
