Duck Duck Cougar?
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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