Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
