Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
All I want is dick and wine.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
