what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
