i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
