Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
