Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
