I like my sex mixed with concussions.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize
