C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
time to smoke my breakfast
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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