We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Randomize
