I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
