it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
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