before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
We are two peas in an std pod
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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