nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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