Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
