So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
