beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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