he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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