you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
