oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
