literally had 100 drinks last night.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
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