You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
not ubering you a puppy
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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