I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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