im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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