I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
