ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
