It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
