I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
