So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
