How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Soap is not a condiment
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
