omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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