How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
She needs sedatives and a leash
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
