I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
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