the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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