the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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