I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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