benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
