i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
