There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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