how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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