Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
