So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
