Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Randomize
