their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
organizing the empties. That sober.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
The Olympian is in my bed
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
