I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
